Thursday, September 22, 2011

So there's a Bears game this week?

I mean look at that throwback!! So ugly.
Who knew? I could post a ton of stuff about how the Bears still suck (they do, by the way) but I'm late to the party. They've sucked since evolution decided that it should give big ugly and hairy a shot. The Bears are on a level of suckitude not seen since Hubert Cecil Booth invented the vacuum. But I won't. I'm going to instead talk about a few current and former Bears that I don't think suck. Ten of them to be exact.

10. Mike Haas - I lived in Oregon when he was in college so I got to see a lot of Haas on Saturdays and I grew to love the scrubby little walk on. He was drafted by the Saints but they waived him after his rookie season. I thought it was a horrible end to a good career. It was great to see him make the Bears practice squad in 2006 and then to see him on their active roster in 2007. He earned his shot and it was nice to see the Bears give it to him.

9. Brian Urlacher - I've always been a fan of the underdog. Yes, Urlacher was an underdog at one time. He came from a 3A high school. Texas Tech was his dream college, but they didn't recruit him. So he went to New Mexico where he played safety/linebacker/rover. He played big there and set all kinds of records. But, it was New Mexico. This guy couldn't do that in the NFL, could he? Well, he has and I respect that. Also, it's not his fault the media plays him up so much.

Pete Rozelle is rolling in his grave.
8. Jim McMahon - I liked the headband. I liked the sunglasses. I was young and the Packers weren't good and I liked watching McMahon and those Bears teams because they had swagger. That swagger was thanks to guys like McMahon (and a few names you'll see later).

7. Kevin Butler - Yes, it's a kicker. A kicker with the nickname of Butthead. A kicker who called his fiance from training camp and told her that they would have to move their wedding because he would be busy at the Super Bowl. Also, I've posted a pic of my son wearing a Mason Crosby jersey. So you know I like kickers.

6. Lance Briggs - He's more important to the Bears than Urlacher. He's a better all around linebacker than  Urlacher. There. I said it. So why does he get overlooked when it comes to contract negotiations? Why does the media ignore him so much? I think it's a conspiracy perpetuated by Jerry Angelo to keep the chip firmly planted on Briggs' shoulder.

I've always been a sucker for gap toothed smiles
5. William "The Refrigerator" Perry - The Super Bowl Shuffle. A 400 pound DT with rushing and receiving TDs. He was hard not to like. Now with the issues in his personal life, he feels like an everyman. I remember watching him control the middle. I remember that gap toothed smile. And I hope get can come out on the other side and smile again soon.

4. Gayle Sayers - Sayers came before my time. All I have to look at are the videos of him breaking ankles over and over again. He was Barry Sanders before Barry Sanders was Barry Sanders. Seriously. You young kids born in the 90's that only know Favre and a Bears team that doesn't instill the fear to go along with the hate better go find tape. Watch it. Learn your history.

3. Matt Forte -13 rushes a game? Come on Lovie! Forte should be your horse! He can do it all. He's the closest thing the Bears have had since Sweetness was wearing 34 and killing the Packers every week. This has nothing to do with the face that Forte is on my fantasy team. He deserves better. So start using him right. 20+ carries and 5 receptions or so and the Bears are in the playoffs again. I can't believe I'm saying this. No one show this to the Bears brass!

2. Mike Ditka - Sure, he was the head coach when the Bears were great in the 80's. That's only part of why I have him on this list. Ditka changed the tight end position in the NFL. He was the first TE inducted into the HOF and without him, there's no Mark Chmura or Jermichael Finley. Before he came into the NFL TEs where just 6th linemen who were eligible to catch passes. So thank him Packer fans.

Rest In Peace Sweetness. You're Missed.
1. Walter Payton - I don't care how much you hate the Bears he was amazing to watch. If you didn't love watching Sweetness play against every team not named Packers then you aren't a true football fan. He did it all and he looked great doing it. I've mentioned Barry Sanders before. Barry may have been more elusive but Payton was just so smooth. His game had a flow to it. He glided through cuts. Even when he improvised it looked like it was choreographed. I have never seen a running back be so smooth. Then there was his touchdown celebration:

1. Hand ball to referee
2. Return to sidelines

I like TD celebrations. The cell phone, the sharpie, the pom poms and of course the Lambeau Leap. You just scored, you should be happy! At the same time watching Sweetness just hand the ball to the ref fit. There's nothing smoother than acting like you've been there. You left too soon Sweetness.


  1. Try not to cry to much when the packers ruin your perfect season!

  2. I'm a Packers fan and I actually had to cut this list down to get to 10. I left guys like Singletary, Butkus, Dent and Red Grange.

  3. Of course you agree with DOA Dave.